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Hey All,

Just a very quick one today as I’m about to leave for work (last day before five days off Yey!)

When most people think of chaos they feel uneasy, stressed and almost scared but I wonder how many of us actually have to live in genuine chaos on a daily basis and actually are quite used to it.

When I was shouting across the playground at Nate this morning as he was playing football and very nearly late (one in reception, one in year one is hard work) I thought about those mums who breeze past with well behaved children and what they must think of me screaming at my son on yet another morning with him not only not acknowledging me but quite obviously choosing to ignore me.

Chaos, that’s what they will think! I then came home for a quick sit down and breakfast, I didn’t have time this morning before the school run due to Leo and another morning issue where he would rather make a pond than wash. When I looked around my living room, it’s clean, tidy (the cleaner came yesterday) but still in utter chaos. There are bits and pieces, ornaments, cushions, magazines, flowers in vases, stars (you know how I love a star) and pictures all over the place. Every surface has some sort of electic art installation that I have lovingly placed over time. 

I realise not only does chaos define parts of my family life but also my interior design! It may look a bit cluttered and dare I say it all over the place but I tell you what, I know where everything is and I wouldn’t have it any other way! 

Have you embraced he chaos in your life?

Happy new week to you all.

This post will be a bit out there as I am usually very light hearted but sadly this last week I have had to deal with sexism and I felt due to the emotions it has stirred up that a post would be a really good way to deal with them.

I am well aware that in 2016 sexism can still be an issue in countries all over the world, I’m not a idiot. However it’s something that doesn’t really factor into day to day life in my world.

I work in a male orientated job, that has never been an issue for me and I can honestly say that I have never seen it more than a couple of times and that was in individuals not the organisation.

Sometimes I wonder if sexism isn’t so much of an issue until children become involved, when you can do all the things male colleagues can do, work all the hours, change commitments at short notice and not have a pull from your home life affecting your decision making process. 

This definitely changed for me when I became a mum and went from being a full time worker with no issues in working back to back days, twenty hour days (you get the drift) to someone who had to work around childcare and my husbands hours. I have to on some days say that I can’t stay on because I have to be home for the boys and I can’t so readily change my working days at short notice because I don’t just have me to think about anymore. 

My enthusiasm and ability to do my job hasn’t changed whatsoever in fact being a mother I think has added to my life experience and makes me a better worker. There isn’t a parent in the world who doesn’t become more efficient having had children (I remember changing a nappy on one child while on the phone to my mum and using one leg to rock Leo’s baby swing to get him to sleep!). 

So why then are so many women left feeling that they aren’t so important? I have come across the attitudes suggesting that as a part time worker I’m not as efficient, I’m not part of the team as much as a full time worker and that I make it hard for people to take leave as I have more days off. This isn’t just from men I hasten to add but also from some female colleagues who are yet to have children (I liken them to me seven years ago but with a much worse attitude!)

The thing that makes me laugh is even though I am a part time worker I still feel like I miss more than I gain with the boys and have to rely on my parents to do much of the childcare as I simply can’t get there for drop off, pick up and dinner time every day, sometimes I don’t even manage bed time. 

I have always been a woman who believed that women should work, I’ve always wanted a career and strived very hard to get to where I am today. However I envy all the women who have the most important career in the world, being a mum and running a family. I’m only half good at that! 

This is why I love my Instagram and my blog, it’s something I can do around the boys and with them at times. How amazing would life be if that was my main career aside from being the Fisk household mummy? (Pie in the sky I hear you all saying! But a girl can dream.)

I take my hat off to everyone in this world man, woman who are out there everyday being a good parent, husband, wife, co-worker, stay at home parent or anything else and accept that life is so bloody hard so I guess my question is why make it harder for eachother? 

Whatever you are doing this week I hope it’s an amazing one and please never forget how important you are xx

Hello you lovely people, how gorgeous has today been?

Being a Whitstable native I’m quite sure that the beaches from Seasalter to Tankerton were packed today and the town full of visitors and locals alike enjoying the little cafes and shops.

Today was a bit different than usual for me in that I had organised a little tea party at my house as a catch up with the girls I work with who also happen to be incredibly good friends.

I set up the table at the end of the garden overlooking the large fields as far as the eye can see. The fields currently contain large herds of cows, lots of little baby ones and it’s an absolute delight to watch them. There were cake stands with fondant fancies and cupcakes, Emma Bridgewater platters full of more cakey delights and some elderflower and rose cordial on ice with some fresh strawberries to go with lovely tea. I put out vases of lovely bright chrysanthemums and it reminded me a bit of the mad hatters tea party.

I’m very lucky to work with some amazing people and one of my best friends in the world who bought her beautiful little girl over to play with the boys. Another friend bought her puppy Bear and the boys absolutely loved learning to teach him how to sit.

It was warm but there was a nice breeze, three hours of chat, cake and tea later and we were still sat in the balmy sunshine watching the cows and chatting about all and sundry. 

In the afternoon after my friends had left the boys and I along with my mum went out for a power walk and a bike ride for the children. We biked along the Crab and Winkle way and back and then went and played football in my mums lively garden.

On the way home the boys convinced me to pass our house and keep going up towards the farm and along a track that leads from Whitstable to Canterbury. We went a little way along it and I was lucky enough to be able to get some gorgeous pictures of a beautiful Whitstable evening.

We are now sat on the sofa, I have sunburn (despite wearing factor 50), the boys are tired and there is a huge pile of washing up to do. What a lovely way to spend a Saturday though.

I hope yours has been as good as mine! I have of course not mentioned the moaning from the children throughout the day, I take it as standard now that you will know this occurs even if I don’t mention it! 

Xx

Yesterday I started writing a blog post about confidence and due to time literally flying by I didn’t get to finish it. Today I know how yesterday went and am finding it very interesting to reflect back on just how different and changeable our emotions can be from one day to the next.

I wrote about how worried I was to take the boys swimming on my own. It was hard work and I was so tired when we got home, not helped by the heat or the fact that Leo managed to have an accident in his swimming shorts! 

I am so lacking in self esteem at times that it blows my mind, I am so horrible to myself that I believe all the nasty things I tell myself about not being able to cope and how rubbish I am.

In the grand scheme of things should I be so concerned about how others see me or what they think of me? Surely as long as I am happy and the people I love are happy that’s all that should matter. I realise it’s what I think of me that I need to work on! 

As Steve Jobs once said, ‘don’t let the noise of others opinions drown out your inner voice’, what a wise man.

So, here it is, Lucy bashing at it’s best, my unfinished blog post from yesterday.

Have a lovely weekend xx

Today for the first time in a good few weeks I am taking the boys to swimming on my own. Now that sounds as simple as making a cup of tea or putting your shoes on doesn’t it. Well I’m not so sure, as we know life with little ones is never predictable and their moods often affect how things go. 

For example on a good day there would be no moaning about getting changed after school to go to swimming, the boys would happily put their shoes on and go to the front door where they would wait for me to open it and walk nicely to the car, they would put their own seat belts on and when we got to the pool get changed quickly and without screaming or trying to fight eachother, do their lessons listening intently to their swimming teacher, have a quick but reasonable shower after and then dress quickly ready to get back into the car and go home for tea. 

On a bad day and being honest the most often occurring of moods they would refuse to get changed, refuse to wear shoes, refuse to get in the car, not want to get changed at the pool, demand money for the overpriced toy machines they have in the waiting area, lose their pants, shoes, shorts etc, ignore the swimming teacher and do their own thing (which with Leo is often going into another pool), refuse to get out of the shower and still be stood their twenty minutes after their lesson has finished and then not be able to dress properly because they had lost the earlier mentioned items. They would then argue about what they want for tea and I would feeling frazzled take them to the drive through for a happy meal like one of the worlds worst parents.

So I am sure you can understand why I am a tad nervous about this prospect on my own this evening as Karl is working. He is also working for the next four days so it’s mum only which is always interesting.

I realise a lot of this is due to my confidence, I’m so good at making myself feel rubbish by telling myself I am useless and that I can’t manage. I can of course manage, I have been doing so since the boys came along and karl has always been there sometimes and not there at others. None of this is new to me, apart from being ill so having extra help recently nothing will be out of the ordinary and yet still I’m sitting worrying about it! Will I manage, what must the other parents think of me, what will I do if Leo plays up,  does everyone realise how useless I am? 

Here is a picture of my new hair, this was the best bit about yesterday! 

Hey all, how are we? 

What are your priorities? There is a question we hear often and in many different avenues of life. Our priorities can change on a daily basis and what we make a priority will be very different in our different worlds, home, work, family life, wellbeing etc.

Work is often about prioritising what is the most important, what has the nearest deadline, what will be the most efficient or make the most profit and what will benefit your company or customers the best. It’s almost simple in a work environment to prioritise these things as we learn our roles and often have someone telling us or setting out how we prioritise our workloads.

So what about at home? What is top of the list? Cleanliness, keeping up with the shopping so there is always fresh fruit and veg available, upkeep and DIY, having new furniture, being on trend with your interior design. This is all a much more grey area. Often it’s easier to let some of the things at home slip particularly when you are tired from work and other avenues of your life. 

Obviously we need to eat and those mums out there know that we need to take responsibility for making sure our families eat healthily and that there is enough food for them (ha I hear you say if you have boys and constantly run out of everything like we do!) but how often do you find that you will not eat massively well at home as your priority is others and not your own wellbeing? I am guilty of this as are many of my lovely friends. 

So about your wellbeing? Your own personal mindfulness? Is this a priority to you at all or do you do what lots of us do and put everyone else above ourselves on the list of priorities and then end up having a mini breakdown when it all gets a bit too much and we haven’t allowed any time for ourselves (this often happens to me in the supermarket!) 

I was talking to a lovely friend of mine earlier about priorities. She was saying that there are people in her life who historically she has prioritised because she felt she needed to (some family members, some friends) and that she often found that the people she really wanted to spend her time with went further down the list as the ones she prioritised were the ones who moaned and made life a bit harder if she didn’t prioritise them. 

This thought hit me quite hard when I realised I do that and have done for many years. We do so often give more attention to those that shout the loudest as opposed to those who genuinely deserve our time and effort (that can include ourselves!) my friend was saying that she has been making a conscious effort to prioritise her life in a fairer manner and that she was much happier for it. 

She said she felt that she had more freedom when prioritising her personal life according to who she wanted to spend time with and put first instead of letting others dictate what she prioritised. She was spending more quality time with her children and not attending so many meet ups with friends who spent all their time moaning and she was making decisions based purely on the happiness of her own family unit.

It felt like a breath of fresh air to me, I am so guilty of prioritising things that in the grand scheme of things should come far down my list. We can still have these things on our list but further down. Would those people notice? Would they care? My friend thought not and felt that her taking more control over her own free time hadn’t been met with much argument as she was being more forthright and happier with her decisions.

I wonder how many of us if we wrote down our lists of priorities in all the areas of our lives would be shocked at how high some things that don’t actually matter all that much at all are. Some things will always remain high but surely we can give ourselves a break with others.

I’m going to try and do this myself this week and see if I can make any tweaks. Even if it’s swapping the order around slightly it could make a big difference!

My friend and I walked along the beach at Whitstable and it was so beautiful, it was a good day for clarity and purpose.

Enjoy your evening you lovely people.

Xx

Morning to all and a very happy weekend to you.

I started thinking this morning while putting on the third episode of Deadly 60 for the boys about how different life would be if there were any girls in the house.

There is just me, this has been a topic of much soul searching and deliberation over the last few years, mostly because I never thought I would have boys.

I’m one of two girls as you know, my mum is one of four girls and two boys, my dad was one of three boys but my husband has two sisters. Most of my cousins are girls and I just always felt like I would be a mum to girls like my mum was.

In the early days of trying to have children we really had trouble, a post for another time so you don’t get bored! 

 I remember Karl’s nan coming to visit us, she was hugely keen to for us to have a baby and desperately wanted it to be a boy. Karl being the only boy and his father an only child the family line would either be carried on or stop with him. This I didn’t realise was a pressure we would be under.

I found out I was pregnant in June 2009. Throughout this time I was sure I was carrying a girl, it felt like a girl, all the symptoms I was having were consistent with girl symptoms in the magazines I was reading but I kept thinking back to the carrying on of the family name.

Sadly Karl’s nan passed away before we got to the gender scan and found out we were indeed having a boy! We knew that Nate would be Nate before we knew what we were having. One of my favourite singers is called Nate James and I had always loved the name. Infact on the way to the gender scan we were listening to Nate James in the car! 

So we had our Nate in February 2010 and I adored him from the second I saw him, handsome, strong and such a character from day one. Lovely Leo arrived in August 2011 another strong Fisk boy. Very like his dad and a Leo by name and nature. He is my little lion and he knows it.

After all my thoughts and feelings knowing I would have girls I ended up with boys! I embraced tractors, dinosaurs, Lego and playmobil. I play in mud and live anything that makes a fart sound. I’m sure many girls like these things but they also love the occasional tea set! 

In the early days of having the boys I thought of whether our family was complete, I did long for a little girl but I had never seen myself having three children. Two children seventeen months apart is hard work and I think the thought of going back to having a new born plus the whirlwind that my boys are made me realise that actually our family is complete and I will only be a mum to boys.

As they get older I spend a lot of my time getting used to this fact. I grew up in a female dominated home, my dad worked away a lot and I have a sister, karl had two sisters. This was new territory for us! 

I deal with the fact that boys rarely get their aim inside the toilet, the talk of bogies and how girls smell and the questions about worms and poo. I know that my weekends will be full of football and rugby and that the Beavers are soon to play a big role in my life.

I adore the pretty, colourful and delicate things in the world and our home truly represents this. I have to embrace the boys don’t care if the jug is Emma Bridgewater or the mascara is Chanel. They want to pour potions with the jug and draw war paint on their faces with the mascara. 

Old handbags are used to store nerf gun darts in as they run around the garden loading and reloading their guns, nail varnish is an interesting kind of paint and candles are to be blown out never looked at or smelt.

They notice when Daddy has mowed stripes into the lawn, regrouted tiles and washed the cars. They don’t notice when I have painted a piece of furniture another colour, bought a new dress or had my hair cut. They can tell you the different makes of tractor and talk about lawn mowers and engines but they don’t know what to get if I ask them to pass me my hairbrush and say things like ‘what’s that smell’ when I buy a lovely new perfume.

They leave pants and dirty clothes all over the floor in most rooms (that includes Karl) and have no concept of taking your shoes off and putting them in the specific area we have for storing shoes and to top it off there is a lizard who lives in our house and we have to feed it meal worms and crickets.

But you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m so proud that we have been given the opportunity to raise these two gorgeous and amazing boys. They make me smile everyday (they make me moan too) and I absolutely can’t wait to share many adventures with them as they grow and meet their futures with open arms.

I am very lucky to have lots of little girls in my life thanks to my beautiful friends who I can spoil and buy beautiful things for in pink and polka dots but I live in the knowledge that no one will ever steal my lipstick (to wear not to make an abstract art installation with), borrow my shoes or do some of the things that made my parents want to lock me away as I was growing up. Teenage Lucy was a nightmare! 

I leave you with some evidence of my life surrounded by boys. Just a normal Saturday morning in the Fisk household!

Much love xx

Hello all and a very happy first day of the new month to you! 

July is going to be quite a busy one for me for lots of reasons and I’m very excited! I’m hoping to be fully recovered and returned to work within a week or so, I saw the Doctor yesterday who very kindly and politely told me to stop expecting too much too soon and to rest.

July is one of those months that is always full of occasions, weddings, parties, barbecues, school concerts and that impending feeling of excitement as the school year nears its close. It’s funny since having children that excited feeling has come flooding back reminding me of how I used to feel, that mixture of excitement and anticipation along with sadness at changes classes and things changing.

This July is no different, we have lots to look forward to including our family summer holiday (more of that later), my brother in laws 40th birthday party in London, some of my favourite little people’s birthdays, the boys end of year concerts, summer fetes, coffee and lunches with lovely friends and hopefully once I’m better some time spent walking along the beach.

Evenings in the summer always seem so much more relaxed, we take longer to eat and chat over dinner while sitting overlooking the cows in the field at the bottom of our garden, the boys play before bed and enjoy being in the garden for a vast majority of the day and I can faff around in the kitchen watching them and smiling while I cook and remember being young and carefree myself (younger, after all I am only 32!)

School is such a slog at times especially with after school clubs, activities, trips, reading books, homework and keeping up with the hustle and bustle of the deadlines and school runs. I love the feeling of knowing that soon we can all breathe a little and the boys can have a more relaxed routine. I think it makes them appreciate their time at home more and respect that school routines are a part of our lives but they get their out of school fun too. Not that they are too worried about this as I have never had any issues getting them to school, they both love it. Getting them to put their shoes or underpants on though is another matter altogether! 

It will be lovely as well to have time off altogether as a family. So often karl and I have to coordinate our leave in the holidays so sometimes only one of us is off to cover the additional childcare, we do go away but it tends to be short breaks. This year we have three whole weeks together. It’s going to be amazing! Although I wonder if I will be saying that once we have three weeks in a foreign country with no respite from eachother! 

My plan for this month once I’m up and about properly is to get back on track with my fitness. All too often lately I have found myself spending time with ice cream, chocolate, nice crisps and all manner of puddings instead of keeping to a lean diet. I hope to get my runs back up to four plus times a week and to try and be a little more productive as opposed to having to slog my way through. It’s all about positive mental thinking I know and with my health lately I get that I haven’t been in the best place so a new more positive outlook is what I’m hoping for this month.

Just when I start to feel sorry for myself when I should be looking forward to all these wonderful things I remind myself of a conversation Karl and I had about our eldest son Nate and his snack at his swimming lesson. Karl had bought an apple amongst some other bits for him to nibble on as he is often hungry as swimming is after school and before dinner. Nate promptly asked karl if he had bought a knife, of course karl hadn’t, who needs to chop an apple out and about when you can just bite into it? Our poor Nate that’s who, he hardly has any teeth left! 

So when you feel crappy never forget there is always someone worse off than you! 

Happy July you lovely people xx

Today I have been thinking about relaxing, I know many of us have forgotten what relaxation is thanks to hectic and demanding lives however if you have the opportunity to what would you do to totally relax? 

It occurred to me that different methods are required at different times, for example a cup of tea in a peaceful and nearly silent house on a day off once the boys have gone to school is hugely relaxing on some days but on others putting on some very loud music and singing at the top of my voice actually brings my blood pressure down enough that it totally relaxes me ( I defy anyone to not feel better after screaming ‘rhythmically’ to Beyoncé or Mariah Carey!)

As I have got older relaxation has definitely changed for me, before I had children like so many other non parents I took for granted the time and freedom to do as I pleased. Trip to the cinema, long lay in, night dancing till the small hours, eating out at a lovely restaurant were all things I did and enjoyed but never savoured as much as I do when given the opportunity now. 

I think the older you get the more likely relaxation is to be in the form of something that you love and want to do more of. I love spending time with my friends and can’t think of anything better than a trip to the local spa for a few hours with treatments and then a lunch in town. This sadly though happens only once or twice a year due to children, shift work and ever full diaries and calendars. I would love to know how the Sex and the City girls managed to maintain such social lives through marriage and children! 

The last time the girls and I had a spa day we were drinking prosecco at ten am and I had fallen asleep by five pm but what an amazing day! This was the day I discovered rose and elderflower cordial added to prosecco and quite frankly haven’t looked back since! 

I like to be creative and find all manner of craft activities relaxing, we know how much I love faffing with flowers and making my home pretty and also how much I like to doodle, write and draw. All of these things at certain times have been great stress relievers and for that reason I have a chest of drawers bursting with bits and pieces, pens, nice paper and glitter glue (who doesn’t love glitter glue).

I think though the thing that relaxes me most is time, knowing that I have time to be doing whatever it is I’m doing and ideally it’s doing something I love. Right now my ideal would be sat in the sunshine with a nice view to look out at surrounded by the people I love and lots of laughter and if I had a glass of something nice in my hand that would just round the scene off! 

A cup of tea and a lovely person to drink it with is another, how much I look forward to seeing one of my great friends who although we go to eachothers houses for our children to spend time together and to catch up in general the time we spend chatting over a cuppa I really cherish.

I find that some of the classic relaxation techniques such as a nice bubble bath really don’t work for me, in theory I love the idea but I get too hot, then make the water too cold, then drop my tea in, slip over trying to reach for my magazine and then end up getting out usually to a boy shouting ‘mummy, there is an alien in my bedroom!’ Or at that very moment Karl realises he has lost his drill, angle grinder, socket set, receipt for a parcel, wallet, pen, return slip from online shopping…. I could go on (can you tell that happens a lot?!)

I am reminded of an episode of Friends where Chandler and Ross have been trying to recapture their youth by going out to a club with Joey and find themselves back at Central Perk, 

‘CHANDLER: Y’know what? We’re not sad, we’re not sad, we’re just not 21 anymore. Y’know? I’m 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!’

Anyway, have a lovely evening and try to relax in whichever way suits you best, I would love to hear your favourites! 

Xx

Hey all, how are we?

So this weekend has been spent mostly with me resting after my op. My husband has taken some time off work to have the boys and I’ve been lucky enough to have been bought some gorgeous flowers and lots of home magazines.

I have been feeling a bit recently like I’ve wanted to make a few changes in the house (I do this, move rooms around on a whim often) but I wanted to have some inspiration so thought it a perfect time to peruse some mags and have a think about what should go where.

I am a huge fan of solid wooden pieces and I love things to have a history. As you know I love upcycling and am not adverse to repainting something again and again to get the look I want.

So, Saturday morning, we had a lay in, I woke up in lots of pain and decided it was best to rest in bed. My mum came over and we drank tea and I read my magazines between snoozes. My mind was buzzing and full of ideas, digging out the bunting I meant to put up when we moved and haven’t, how lovely would it be to refurbish an old Ercol armchair for my sunny window, making shelves out of old drawers lined with wallpaper for the boys room etc.

I love reading about the stories behind people’s homes, who they live with, what their tastes are and about some of the treasured items they have in their home. I admire the women so nicely dressed and surrounded by beautiful things and hope that one day one of my favourite magazines might just include my home.

Anyway Sarurday afternoon Nate refused to go to his Art Class which was a real shame as he is amazing at it and always comes home with some lovely work. His teacher Linda runs Bridge House Arts in Whitstable and is not only extremely talented but has a way of harnessing Nate’s imagination so he can put his ideas down using paint and pastels. So Karl took both boys to the supermarket. This was never going to end well as my children and the supermarket are like trying to make oil and water mix. It never works and just makes a massive mess.

I fell asleep at about seven pm with the boys in bed next to me. Karl made dinner, woke me up, we ate, the boys went to bed and I watched Adele at Glastonbury (amazing) before going to sleep again.

Yesterday Karl took the boys to church and I stayed in bed. I managed to sleep for a couple of hours but the pain for really bad so I woke up for some tablets. At this point I thought I could carry on with some of my magazines but first I needed tea. I got up and walked to the kitchen, I blinked in the light of day, my home looks like a bomb has hit it. A bomb of boys! Toys, scooters, socks, pencils, paper, Lego, playmobil, dinosaurs and all manner of other stuff are laying all over every piece of floor I can see and I make my tea around the carnage before getting back into bed.

An hour or so later I realise that I need to shower so make myself get up, the bathroom had been used as some sort of laboratory and the boys had left cereal bowls full of various coloured potions made mostly with my expensive toiletries on every surface in the bathroom. Again I just carry on, I shower and dress all the while thinking about all the lovely things I am planning for the house when I’m feeling better.

My parents as you know live only a few doors down and very kindly they offered to cook dinner yesterday. Karl came to collect me and said that I could lay on the sofa if I needed to while I was there. As we pulled into my mums drive karl also mentioned seeing a squirrel earlier in the day that appeared to be injured. Sure enough as we drove down I saw quite a large and obviously injured grey squirrel laying at the side of the driveway looking quite worse for wear.

We parked at mums and got out of the car, I felt dizzy as I walked down to the squirrel and by this point the boys had come out of my mums and offered their unique kind of assistance with rescuing said poorly squirrel. As I got closer I saw that Karl had managed to scoop up Mr Squirrel and had him laying in his hands. Now this next part is a bit of a blur, Leo lunged forwards slightly and the squirrel got spooked, Karl made a strange high pitched noise and there was blood pouring out of his hand onto the driveway. Yes you guessed it the squirrel had bitten Karl.

So a tetanus jab, a prescription for antibiotics later and dressing a sizeable squirrel bite I sat down again. Only my husband could manage to get mauled by a squirrel in the middle of his nursemaid duties!

Today he is sore and feeling sorry for himself, I am on the sofa still surrounded by explosions of the mess variety but thinking about how lovely the house is when nice and tidy and wondering what Ideal Home Magazine would think if they turned up now!

Happy Monday! Xx