Morning all, wishing you a very happy new week.
I have been thinking a lot lately about what I would tell younger Lucy if I could. What advice would thirty three year old me give the me of years gone by?
I imagine that the majority of us at some point consider this question. Of course we all make decisions which we regret in later life and there isn’t a person walking this earth that hasn’t. There is much thought behind this that our mistakes, our questionable decisions make us who we are today and we learn from them in order to grow as a person. I imagine this is true and most of us come to some sort of peace with things from our past.
What about though the things you didn’t do? The things you were scared of or just couldn’t have the confidence in yourself to achieve? The job you didn’t apply for, the date you said no to, the place you didn’t travel to or the decision you should have made about changing a friendship or direction your life was taking.
We as human beings are all guilty of not wanting to make a fuss, not wanting to upset people or put ourselves into positions where we might get hurt. Sometimes this is to our detriment as we stick with relationships, situations and circumstances that we shouldn’t to simply avoid rocking the boat. I think that there is a concern about appearing selfish, being too focussed on yourself or that you are making the wrong decision in the eyes of others.
It makes me think though that the people you may worry are judging you for a decision you have or haven’t made aren’t the ones who will have to live with the consequences of it, you are. So what right have others to make you feel bad for making decisions about your own life.
When you look back at some of the female icons of our times they have all had to make hard decisions that they have been criticised for, often publicly and you can’t even imagine that kind of scrutiny into what is your life, your business. Audrey Hepburn who is one of my icons said, ‘Pick the day. Enjoy it to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come. The past, I think has helped me appreciate the present- and I don’t want to spoil any of it fretting about the future.’
So I think that would be the best piece of advice I would give to the younger me, do what you think is right, make the decision for the right reasons as you will have to live with it forever more. Of course this is now a four person process including my husband and children but you can adopt the same philosophy. If we as a family are happy with what we are doing then that is all that matters.
Of course I would be lying if I said I still don’t worry about others people opinions but I will not get old and look back with regrets on decisions I made with other peoples thoughts in mind. I am not into politics and will not give my views on my blog but look at Donald Trump as an example, whatever you think of him I imagine there were huge numbers of people who will have told him he was being ridiculous even considering standing for American President. He didn’t listen and made a decision and in January he will be one of the most powerful men in our world. Andy Murray has constantly faced scrutiny about his tennis and calls to give up at times when he hasn’t quite got there however this morning he is the world number one in tennis.
I keep dwelling on my decision to have such a serious operation in three weeks. Taking myself out of the game and not being able to be the mum I want to be for my boys and up to being the wife I want to be for my husband. Now this decision won’t make me a president or number one in any sport but it will after a period of hardship mean tat life will be better, I will be more capable of being the mum and wife I want to be with no more suffering or pain. I am happy with my decision and am going into it with an open heart and positivity.
What decisions have you made or not made in your life that you would like to talk to the younger you about?