Hey all, How are we?
I have been thinking a lot about perspective this week, it becomes abundantly clearer as I age that so often the way I see things will be completely different to how others see things. We all interpret things differently, just look at art. One persons masterpiece is another persons eyesore. One person could look out of a window and see rain and instantly feel down and miserable, another would smile thinking of jumping in muddy puddles, the flowers that need a drink and how our world is such an amazing place.
I imagine this also works for how we view ourselves, we see ourselves in a totally different light to how others do. Some of us see positives, some negatives and we can so easily become our own worst enemy. What do you see when you look at yourself? Are you happy? What would you change? What would you keep? How would you go about making those changes? Do you see how much of an amazing person you are or do you struggle with your confidence?
I definitely fall on the latter side, I have realised lately that my own perspective and opinion of myself needs considerable work. How I feel about me affects how I behave, how I work, my motivation, my relationships and my happiness in general. This is not a self sacrificing post where I expect everyone to say that I can’t be as bad as I think I am because let’s be honest the only person who can change how I see and think of myself is me. This is of course far easier said than done but I do believe there is huge truth in the saying that how can we expect everyone else to be okay with us if we are not okay with ourselves?
When I think bout it there are massive examples all around me of how people view themselves and how it affects them. This week alone a great friend made a decision to not go for a job they would be amazing at because they were not convinced they were ready. A decision I totally respect and understand however I just wish that they could see how highly thought of they are and just how much they would have been able to excel. But again it’s how you feel about it and no ones else’s opinion will sway you.
Another friend is having some work done at the dentist and when we talked about being her being scared and how brave she is she almost dismissed it when actually she is one of the bravest people I know. So much so that I wished she could see how much of a breeze the dentist would be in comparison to recent trials and tribulations that she has dealt with confidence, elegance and quite frankly true grit.
Nate as many of you know is my older son who is six was really struggling this morning after he had been put into time out two times. One for being rude (no it’s not okay to tell mummy that they smell or that they are the worlds worst parents) and the other for ruining two of the beautiful roses in one of my vases in the living room by hitting it repeatedly with a wooden stick made of colourful blocks and also doing the usual and refusing to get washed and dressed. His younger brother Leo in comparison was a model child, he got ready, ate his breakfast, tidied his room, did the best reading I have ever heard him do and received an awful lot of praise for it. That in itself made Nate look at himself and decide hat he was a bad boy and would never be able to be good. His opinion totally and actually completely untrue. Like we explained to him, you can do bad things but it doesn’t make you a bad person.
So a personal journey for me to try and look at how I view myself and work on how I treat myself and others around me based on that. A long journey I hear you cry and one I will no doubt bore you with over the coming months.
So to conclude, what do you see when you look out of the window today? As Carrie Bradshaw so eloquently put it, ‘The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship is the one you have with yourself.’ If the people who love you and you love are there for you, willing to put up with you warts and all, love you despite your crappy decision making and feelings of total inadequacy then surely they deserve for you to be able to give that love back as a happy, secure person. Think about it…….