Post Natal dilemma

Happy weekend all…. How are we? 

I’ve had a busy week as usual full of all the normal things you would expect, ill children, untidy rooms, the occasional tantrum and an awful lot of Tom and Jerry.

I took the boys on Thursday to a local wildlife park with one of my lovely friends and her children who are six and two. We then went back to her house for a sleep over. The children had fun in the paddling pool, Nate managed to catch a goldfish from their pond (no harm to any animals I promise) and they had a feast before bed. 

As you can imagine my friend and I really needed prosecco by the end of the evening and suffice to say I was a tad tipsy when Nate at midnight came down still wide awake! So cue two slightly tipsy women in their thirties trying to get a blow up mattress to do just that, do you think we managed it, oh no! 

I ended up spending the night on what was actually a very comfy sofa with Nate. It was only when I woke up in the morning that I realised I had eaten the biggest chunk of chocolate cake I have ever seen, two slices of pizza and between us we had got through a bit more prosecco than we should have!

We went and met another friend of mine at a play place in the afternoon and while the children behaved like absolute loons we sat with tea and managed to catch up. My friend has a new baby, he is five months old, absolutely gorgeous and growing well with a beautiful smile. 

My friend looked stunning, her hair was lovely, her outfit was stylish and her skin looked great, she certainly wasn’t the greasy haired, spot covered mess I was when I had a new born who didn’t wear anything that wasn’t covered in snot or baby sick. As we were chatting she looked sad and confided that she is being treated for post natal depression.

I’ve known this friend since school, she has always been strong and forthright and she is an amazing mummy to her older daughter who is two. I’m not saying it shocked me to find that she has been suffering the way she has but that it just shows that even the strongest of people can suffer after the emotional roller coaster that bringing a small person into the world can be. 

My very wise friend said that if she had broken a bone she would go to the hospital to get help so she felt she had no choice after three days not feeling able to get out of bed and constantly being in tears but go to the doctor. We discussed the stigma attached to making such a disclosure and how often it comes out of nowhere knocking you down like a bus and leaving you with no idea what to do next.

The three of us discussed our own experiences of post natal depression and I was quite shocked to find that even though all three of us felt we had suffered after having one of our children only one of us had sought help. I didn’t, I was so angry at ‘failing’ and letting my emotions get to me and my other friend said she felt that if she just carried on it would be okay and eventually she was although it took a considerable amount of time.

Whilst sat holding her gorgeous baby boy I listened to my friend explain that with a mixture of anti-depressants and attending a weekly group for mums suffering with PND themselves she is slowly feeling brighter.

I honestly don’t know if I had have sought treatment after having Leo whether I would have gone on to have my eating disorder and the anxiety and depression I have suffered with. I suspect I delayed the inevitable by not being strong enough to seek help. 

It doesn’t matter who we are, what our character is, what we do for a living or how we have grown up, we still can all suffer when it comes to our mental health. I can’t implore anyone reading this enough to have a think about there’s and if you feel you need some help know there is no shame in being honest. There are people who can help and actually you will be a happier mum with a happier family if you are happy with you.

Have a fab weekend xxx 

Author: TiredfromWhitstable

I'm Lucy, a 32 year old working mother and wife from Whitstable in Kent. This blog is for all my musings on life and follows my eternal struggle to juggle everything from being a mum, a volunteer youth mentor, a wife and making a lovely home and garden. Please join me!

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