The simple life…….

Hey all, how are we? 

I’ve been thinking today about happiness, gratitude and how I use them in my life. I was thinking this while out on a ‘power walk’ on the Crab and Winkle Way which as most of you know is one of my favourite spots in Whitstable.

Thinking about the little things that keep you happy and grateful is an essential in life and it occurred to me just how much I long for the simple life. I keep seeing and reading things about living a simpler life, the best life you can and getting ‘off grid’ for a while.

My husband wouldn’t be able to be ‘off grid’ for long, he is a gadget man who loves technology but then it occurred to me that he is also at his happiest outside in the garden, doing jobs, enjoying the peace and making things. All of these things are relatively simple and usually involve minimal gadgets (other than his drone!) 

The boys too are usually happy when they are playing outside. I actually find that the more time they spend on tablets (we limit this as much as we can) the more grumpy and irritable they become. They get lots of built up aggression and you can tell that they have been having screen time. 

Earlier this week we visited the Elmley Nature Reserve and had a night of no television or tablets. Karl and I had our phones but mostly for pictures but neither of us used them that much. We walked, talked, played cards and the boys got lost in nature. There was a huge hill at the back of our fishermans hut and they were up and down it constantly, looking out over the fields and playing little games they had made up. 

Of course they did some arguing and some wrestling but they are my children and wouldn’t be if they didn’t! 

I loved the peace, the views and the feeling of being at one with nature. There were pretty butterflies, all manner of birds and rabbits running around which made it all seem quite magical.

So as I was power walking in my maroon shorts and running top which is way too tight because of all the chocolate I was thinking about how much I just want to spend my time simply being. Taking in beautiful views, walking and conversing with the people I love and enjoying where we live. 

In our home we seem to be embracing simpler things, not focussing so much on smart storage solutions from modern shops but loving things with a history and that were made by hand. Things that will still be around and usable when we are old and the boys are able to appreciate them like the table Karl made using the base from my Grandads old Singer sewing machine table. 

Gone are the days where if we had a free weekend I would feel like we needed to fill it with all and sundry, we now take life at a much slower pace and I actually try to plan in time where we can choose what we do whether that be a walk in the woods, on the beach or some time with Nana chatting and drinking tea. I love seeing friends and family but they too have similar feelings to us so it’s nice that we can all enjoy our times together. 

I am so very happy when I am out walking, it opens my mind and allows me that space to think and be me. To go over what’s been going on and to plan for what’s coming up. To think about all the things I am grateful for and to process things that I’ve not been so good at in recent times and how I can improve next time.

This is a key element of moving forward for me after my CBT has come to an end. Originally I was massively scared and felt like I needed that session each week to be okay but the more I have thought about it the more I realise that I have the tools I need and I need to keep using them, building on the foundation the therapist and I built and making them habit. Walking in the fresh air is a huge part of this for me.

This morning I walked for half an hour, no time at all really when you weigh up what is important or not but the feeling afterwards was immense and is carrying on throughout the day. Of course not all days will life be so simple and some days or even weeks there won’t be time for a long walk but life is after all about balance. We make time for the doctor or dentist when we need to and being mindful is just as key to our health as these visits are.

How do you keep your life simple? What things would you like to improve on or to change? I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas. If you can take half an hour for yourself this week and do something you love, something that is good for your soul. Walk, run, sing to loud music, catch up with a friend, draw, knit, have a chocolate bar, bake a cake, build Lego with your children, buy some flowers, take some photos, cook a meal from scratch, light a scented candle, have a bath (you get my drift?!) I bet you will feel much better for it. 

Wisdom and whether it makes any sense……

Hey all, how are we? 

I’ve been thinking a lot about wisdom which is defined as the quality of having, experience, knowledge and good judgement; the quality of being wise. This will have prompted you to think about all the people you deem as wise whether they be friends, family, loved ones or like me iconic heroes who have pioneered new things (my key example would be Ben and Jerry for their work towards ice cream flavours!)

I imagine you will also be asking yourself, am I wise? Do I have wisdom and will people deem me to have these characteristics. The answer for many of us would be no. We are so quick to judge ourselves and not look to the positives. We would also run our minds back over decisions we have made in the past that at the time were made with the best knowledge you had at but that today you would look back on and question. 

I can think of a great number of people I believe have wisdom, from the philosophers of old, playwrights, authors, those who have pioneered technology that makes our world what it is today, leaders, peacekeepers, teachers, colleagues, my mum and of course Albus Dumbledore. But my question is this, I wonder how many times all the people I consider as wise questioned their decisions. Realised they had made a bad one and that they had been  at that time lacking in wisdom. I would guess each and every one of them. 

We are all totally capable of being wise, each and every one of us has wisdom and we do what we do trying to use it in the best way we can. Whether that be moving on from something that is hurting us, choosing to embark on a new adventure, learning something new or making decisions about our day to day life that will better it for those around us. 

That doesn’t mean though that the people around us will necessarily understand our decisions or why we made them, our chosen paths or the ones we choose to stop walking down. Sometimes it will of course be obvious that our wisdom was somewhat lacking (the time I decided to pierce my own ears for a second time aged 12) but at other times people may just have a different opinion than we do. 

Wisdom is not the same for every person, what one considers wise another may consider foolish and vice versa but like each and every living thing on this whole planet we are individuals and our thoughts, decisions and lives are based around our own minds. We care for others, we love and we do all we can for those we love but ultimately what we do is down to us. 

So many are quick to jump to judge, criticise or comment on the acts of others. This is of course human nature however imagine if you had all the information in your possession that made that person make that decision, maybe, just maybe you would decide the same thing they did. Even if you wouldn’t, does that really matter? 

In conclusion I believe we need to own our wisdom and our decisions. Whether they be the right or wrong decision. If it’s a wrong one you live, learn and move on but if it’s a right one you remember all that wisdom you used to make that right decision and do you know what it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or feels on the matter. If some of our worlds greatest minds had let others dull their wisdom we wouldn’t have technology, music, languages, science or mindfulness. Now that is a scary thought. 

In a nod to the wisdom of others here are some of the wisest quotes I love…..

‘Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish on it’s ability to climb a tree it will live it’s whole life believing that it is stupid’ Albert Einstein 

‘Just do what works for you because there will always be somebody who thinks differently’ Michelle Obama 

‘Just because you are right, doesn’t mean I am wrong, you just haven’t seen life from my side’ unknown 

‘Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t’ Bill Nye.