Getting your priorities right

Hey all, how are we? 

What are your priorities? There is a question we hear often and in many different avenues of life. Our priorities can change on a daily basis and what we make a priority will be very different in our different worlds, home, work, family life, wellbeing etc.

Work is often about prioritising what is the most important, what has the nearest deadline, what will be the most efficient or make the most profit and what will benefit your company or customers the best. It’s almost simple in a work environment to prioritise these things as we learn our roles and often have someone telling us or setting out how we prioritise our workloads.

So what about at home? What is top of the list? Cleanliness, keeping up with the shopping so there is always fresh fruit and veg available, upkeep and DIY, having new furniture, being on trend with your interior design. This is all a much more grey area. Often it’s easier to let some of the things at home slip particularly when you are tired from work and other avenues of your life. 

Obviously we need to eat and those mums out there know that we need to take responsibility for making sure our families eat healthily and that there is enough food for them (ha I hear you say if you have boys and constantly run out of everything like we do!) but how often do you find that you will not eat massively well at home as your priority is others and not your own wellbeing? I am guilty of this as are many of my lovely friends. 

So about your wellbeing? Your own personal mindfulness? Is this a priority to you at all or do you do what lots of us do and put everyone else above ourselves on the list of priorities and then end up having a mini breakdown when it all gets a bit too much and we haven’t allowed any time for ourselves (this often happens to me in the supermarket!) 

I was talking to a lovely friend of mine earlier about priorities. She was saying that there are people in her life who historically she has prioritised because she felt she needed to (some family members, some friends) and that she often found that the people she really wanted to spend her time with went further down the list as the ones she prioritised were the ones who moaned and made life a bit harder if she didn’t prioritise them. 

This thought hit me quite hard when I realised I do that and have done for many years. We do so often give more attention to those that shout the loudest as opposed to those who genuinely deserve our time and effort (that can include ourselves!) my friend was saying that she has been making a conscious effort to prioritise her life in a fairer manner and that she was much happier for it. 

She said she felt that she had more freedom when prioritising her personal life according to who she wanted to spend time with and put first instead of letting others dictate what she prioritised. She was spending more quality time with her children and not attending so many meet ups with friends who spent all their time moaning and she was making decisions based purely on the happiness of her own family unit.

It felt like a breath of fresh air to me, I am so guilty of prioritising things that in the grand scheme of things should come far down my list. We can still have these things on our list but further down. Would those people notice? Would they care? My friend thought not and felt that her taking more control over her own free time hadn’t been met with much argument as she was being more forthright and happier with her decisions.

I wonder how many of us if we wrote down our lists of priorities in all the areas of our lives would be shocked at how high some things that don’t actually matter all that much at all are. Some things will always remain high but surely we can give ourselves a break with others.

I’m going to try and do this myself this week and see if I can make any tweaks. Even if it’s swapping the order around slightly it could make a big difference!

My friend and I walked along the beach at Whitstable and it was so beautiful, it was a good day for clarity and purpose.

Enjoy your evening you lovely people.



Just blue, no Pink 

Morning to all and a very happy weekend to you.

I started thinking this morning while putting on the third episode of Deadly 60 for the boys about how different life would be if there were any girls in the house.

There is just me, this has been a topic of much soul searching and deliberation over the last few years, mostly because I never thought I would have boys.

I’m one of two girls as you know, my mum is one of four girls and two boys, my dad was one of three boys but my husband has two sisters. Most of my cousins are girls and I just always felt like I would be a mum to girls like my mum was.

In the early days of trying to have children we really had trouble, a post for another time so you don’t get bored! 

 I remember Karl’s nan coming to visit us, she was hugely keen to for us to have a baby and desperately wanted it to be a boy. Karl being the only boy and his father an only child the family line would either be carried on or stop with him. This I didn’t realise was a pressure we would be under.

I found out I was pregnant in June 2009. Throughout this time I was sure I was carrying a girl, it felt like a girl, all the symptoms I was having were consistent with girl symptoms in the magazines I was reading but I kept thinking back to the carrying on of the family name.

Sadly Karl’s nan passed away before we got to the gender scan and found out we were indeed having a boy! We knew that Nate would be Nate before we knew what we were having. One of my favourite singers is called Nate James and I had always loved the name. Infact on the way to the gender scan we were listening to Nate James in the car! 

So we had our Nate in February 2010 and I adored him from the second I saw him, handsome, strong and such a character from day one. Lovely Leo arrived in August 2011 another strong Fisk boy. Very like his dad and a Leo by name and nature. He is my little lion and he knows it.

After all my thoughts and feelings knowing I would have girls I ended up with boys! I embraced tractors, dinosaurs, Lego and playmobil. I play in mud and live anything that makes a fart sound. I’m sure many girls like these things but they also love the occasional tea set! 

In the early days of having the boys I thought of whether our family was complete, I did long for a little girl but I had never seen myself having three children. Two children seventeen months apart is hard work and I think the thought of going back to having a new born plus the whirlwind that my boys are made me realise that actually our family is complete and I will only be a mum to boys.

As they get older I spend a lot of my time getting used to this fact. I grew up in a female dominated home, my dad worked away a lot and I have a sister, karl had two sisters. This was new territory for us! 

I deal with the fact that boys rarely get their aim inside the toilet, the talk of bogies and how girls smell and the questions about worms and poo. I know that my weekends will be full of football and rugby and that the Beavers are soon to play a big role in my life.

I adore the pretty, colourful and delicate things in the world and our home truly represents this. I have to embrace the boys don’t care if the jug is Emma Bridgewater or the mascara is Chanel. They want to pour potions with the jug and draw war paint on their faces with the mascara. 

Old handbags are used to store nerf gun darts in as they run around the garden loading and reloading their guns, nail varnish is an interesting kind of paint and candles are to be blown out never looked at or smelt.

They notice when Daddy has mowed stripes into the lawn, regrouted tiles and washed the cars. They don’t notice when I have painted a piece of furniture another colour, bought a new dress or had my hair cut. They can tell you the different makes of tractor and talk about lawn mowers and engines but they don’t know what to get if I ask them to pass me my hairbrush and say things like ‘what’s that smell’ when I buy a lovely new perfume.

They leave pants and dirty clothes all over the floor in most rooms (that includes Karl) and have no concept of taking your shoes off and putting them in the specific area we have for storing shoes and to top it off there is a lizard who lives in our house and we have to feed it meal worms and crickets.

But you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m so proud that we have been given the opportunity to raise these two gorgeous and amazing boys. They make me smile everyday (they make me moan too) and I absolutely can’t wait to share many adventures with them as they grow and meet their futures with open arms.

I am very lucky to have lots of little girls in my life thanks to my beautiful friends who I can spoil and buy beautiful things for in pink and polka dots but I live in the knowledge that no one will ever steal my lipstick (to wear not to make an abstract art installation with), borrow my shoes or do some of the things that made my parents want to lock me away as I was growing up. Teenage Lucy was a nightmare! 

I leave you with some evidence of my life surrounded by boys. Just a normal Saturday morning in the Fisk household!

Much love xx

My month ahead

Hello all and a very happy first day of the new month to you! 

July is going to be quite a busy one for me for lots of reasons and I’m very excited! I’m hoping to be fully recovered and returned to work within a week or so, I saw the Doctor yesterday who very kindly and politely told me to stop expecting too much too soon and to rest.

July is one of those months that is always full of occasions, weddings, parties, barbecues, school concerts and that impending feeling of excitement as the school year nears its close. It’s funny since having children that excited feeling has come flooding back reminding me of how I used to feel, that mixture of excitement and anticipation along with sadness at changes classes and things changing.

This July is no different, we have lots to look forward to including our family summer holiday (more of that later), my brother in laws 40th birthday party in London, some of my favourite little people’s birthdays, the boys end of year concerts, summer fetes, coffee and lunches with lovely friends and hopefully once I’m better some time spent walking along the beach.

Evenings in the summer always seem so much more relaxed, we take longer to eat and chat over dinner while sitting overlooking the cows in the field at the bottom of our garden, the boys play before bed and enjoy being in the garden for a vast majority of the day and I can faff around in the kitchen watching them and smiling while I cook and remember being young and carefree myself (younger, after all I am only 32!)

School is such a slog at times especially with after school clubs, activities, trips, reading books, homework and keeping up with the hustle and bustle of the deadlines and school runs. I love the feeling of knowing that soon we can all breathe a little and the boys can have a more relaxed routine. I think it makes them appreciate their time at home more and respect that school routines are a part of our lives but they get their out of school fun too. Not that they are too worried about this as I have never had any issues getting them to school, they both love it. Getting them to put their shoes or underpants on though is another matter altogether! 

It will be lovely as well to have time off altogether as a family. So often karl and I have to coordinate our leave in the holidays so sometimes only one of us is off to cover the additional childcare, we do go away but it tends to be short breaks. This year we have three whole weeks together. It’s going to be amazing! Although I wonder if I will be saying that once we have three weeks in a foreign country with no respite from eachother! 

My plan for this month once I’m up and about properly is to get back on track with my fitness. All too often lately I have found myself spending time with ice cream, chocolate, nice crisps and all manner of puddings instead of keeping to a lean diet. I hope to get my runs back up to four plus times a week and to try and be a little more productive as opposed to having to slog my way through. It’s all about positive mental thinking I know and with my health lately I get that I haven’t been in the best place so a new more positive outlook is what I’m hoping for this month.

Just when I start to feel sorry for myself when I should be looking forward to all these wonderful things I remind myself of a conversation Karl and I had about our eldest son Nate and his snack at his swimming lesson. Karl had bought an apple amongst some other bits for him to nibble on as he is often hungry as swimming is after school and before dinner. Nate promptly asked karl if he had bought a knife, of course karl hadn’t, who needs to chop an apple out and about when you can just bite into it? Our poor Nate that’s who, he hardly has any teeth left! 

So when you feel crappy never forget there is always someone worse off than you! 

Happy July you lovely people xx